am i better than you?

something that makes me rlly uncomfy is when someone thinks they're better than me, cause like what am i missing? what do you have that i don't? it just pisses me off when im belittled. i feel like i always have this need to prove that they aren't better than me, it kinda fuels my competitiveness. but now that i think about it, my need for winning isn't just to prove that they aren't better than me, it kinda proves that i'm better than them too. is it all just projection? when i see someone and assume they see themselves as faster, smarter, better, am i really basing this off of insinuations, or is it all just my own feelings?

recently ive noticed that i've stopped being as kind as i used to be, some might think thats a good thing, but  i honestly really hate the way that i think. i've been humble my entire life to the point where the glazing got to me, i hate the way i've slowly built this wall of superiority in my mind. the real question isn't "what makes them better than me?" it's "what makes me better than them?" 

i wouldn't call myself a cruel person, but i'm certainly not "kind" or at least not as kind as others keep telling me. i so need a reality check because i hate looking down on people. this stupid sense of superiority clouds your judgement, in fact when your ego keeps getting inflated it gets harder to see those around you, well i dont want to be blind !!! i want to see everyone, i want to be part of them! i dont want to be above! i was to stay humble! 

trust me i'm going to change this habit SOON